You are a leader

I can almost hear you say: Who said so? I said so, but that’s not why you are a leader. You are a leader because we are all leaders. That’s what makes us so important. We all lead someone at some stage in our lives. So whether you like it or not, you must equip yourself to lead.
If you don't like the idea of leading, ask yourself why. Are you shy? If so, that’s just a form of arrogance and your life will improve beyond you wildest imagination when you get over it. Are you weak? If so, how did you discover that? Be careful, this is a trap. Remember the saying ‘Out of the strong came forth sweetness'? You can turn that round and say 'Beware of the gentle, when roused they can be very fierce'. A man who rants and raves is unlikely to do you harm. A man who is quiet, may.

When I negotiate with a group of people, I observe the quiet one, the one who sits there with apparently no interest in the negotiation. He is the person to engage because he is either making the decisions or representing the person who does so.
In a media-based world we have come to think of the noisy person as the most important. In terms of attention, they may be. Perhaps they have aspects which are pleasing to observe - looks, humour, wit, presence - but they are almost certainly not the people who are making the top spin. The quiet, often unassuming, will be the true leaders.

What should you develop in your search to be a good leader?
I think there are five aspects of leadership that are vital and often ignored.

[1] You must have a genuine interest in and concern for the people you are leading. If you are only interested in power for yourself, you will never make a good leader. That's why Tony Blair has failed in Britain. He sees those he leads merely as a source of votes to keep him in his powerful position from which he can dispense patronage to receive the adulation he so badly needs. Watch him talking to people. He is bursting to speak when he ought to be aching to learn.
I once saw a great leader lose his temper. He had been sorely provoked and he flipped. Afterwards, he was apologising for going somewhat over the top. He suddenly stopped his apology and looked very hard at the people to whom he was apologising. Then, very quietly, he said: 'I'm only angry when I care'. He was, of course, immediately forgiven and accepted back into the hearts of those he had offended.

[2] As evidence of concern and interest a leader must listen. Not just long enough for the other person to finish what they were saying but for long enough to get them to say what they were holding back. In a silence between a boss and his subordinate, the subordinate will always speak first. He or she is nervous of a void in the conversation. It's the words the subordinate says after the silence that matter. They are not the prepared speech, they are from the heart.

[3] A good leader must have courage. Kings who successfully led their armies into battle were at the head of the troop, not back at HQ waiting for reports. Warfare changes, but I did feel quite disgusted when we attacked Iraq and virtually all the 'top brass' stayed away, with one or two notable exceptions. That's about physical courage, of course. There is an equally important courage a leader must have. When he has listened to, and been concerned about, the people he is leading, he must decide. Sometimes his decision will not be immediately pleasing to the people he leads. He must still decide. Self-confidence is not arrogance. As a leader he is, or should be, the only person in possession of all the relevant facts. Each of us in our own lives has to make uncomfortable decisions affecting others. We need the courage to make those decisions with thought, with care, with compassion and with determination. The poor leader vascilates. Nobody like uncertainty. Better wrong than wobbly.

[4] Communicating is important for a leader but not nearly as important as the media would have you believe. There are always professionals to communicate for you or to help you to get your message across. The concept that leadership is all about spin and presentation is at the heart of the problems the democracies of the west are suffering. A good communicator is not always brash, glad-handing and extrovert. I have learnt at the feet of many who were tongue-tied and retiring, who spoke quietly and seldom, whose command of the smart remark was limited. The impression a great guru makes depends on what he says, not on how he says it. Oscar Wilde was a witty and enchanting person but he was no leader.

[5] Above all leadership requires judgement - of people, of facts, of situations, of time. He will need advisors. Can he pick the person who will tell him the truth without having to destroy the leader's self-worth? He will need to grasp inofrmation quickly. Can he distinguish between the relevant and the spurious? He will need to weigh up situations quickly while avoiding the trap of excessive haste. He will need to 'feel' the right time to do things. Brilliant ideas out of season are sawdust.
Do the qualities I have listed above seem daunting? They shouldn't. One of the truths about leadership is that almost anyone can become a leader. When my sister and I were very small children living in London during WWII my father was worried that we might get lost in the aftermarth of an air raid. He gave us good advice. 'Don't look to the big, important man to help you; he will be too busy helping himself. Look for the small, insignificant person. He or she will be more interested in helping you than caring about themselves'. The advice has proved useful ever since. After all, most of life is the aftermarth of an airraid or something similar.
You'll be a great leader.

Justice is love in action. Love is an attitude. Justice is its delivery.