What Men mean

Have you ever asked what men are really thinking when they say the things they do? Well now is your opportunity to answer that very question...

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Let's take your car."
Really means...
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means...
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means...
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling

"Good idea."
Really means...
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?"
Really means...
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means...
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"I got a lot done."
Really means...
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late."
Really means...
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Hey, I've read all the classics."
Really means...
"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."

"You cook just like my mother used to."
Really means...
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means...
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means...
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me."
Really means...
"You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."

"That's women's work."
Really means...
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Will you marry me?"
Really means...
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"Go ask your mother."
Really means...
"I am incapable of making a decision."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means...
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means...
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Football is a man's game."
Really means...
"Women are generally too smart to play it."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means...
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means...
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means...
"What did you catch me at?"

"What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
Really means...
"You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."

"She's one of those rabid feminists."
Really means...
"She refused to make my coffee."

"But I hate to go shopping."
Really means...
"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."

"No, I left plenty of gas in the car."
Really means...
"You may actually get it to start."

"I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys."
Really means...
"I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, with pre-evolutionary companions."

"I heard you."
Really means...
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means...
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means...
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I brought you a present."
Really means...
"It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."

"I missed you."
Really means...
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet
paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means...
"No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means...
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."

"This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means...
"I like you more than my truck."

"I recycle."
Really means...
"We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."

"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means...
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

"It sure snowed last night."
Really means...
"I suppose you're going to nag me about shovelling the walk now."

"It's good beer."
Really means...
"It was on sale."

"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means...
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

"I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
Really means...
"If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."

"I broke up with her."
Really means...
"She dumped me."

"I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."
Really means...
"Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."

---

japan swear words

baka yaroo	stupid bastard
Chikushoo	oh Fuck!
Kuso	shit
Ima imashe kuso	Eat Fucking Shit
Urusai kono bakayaro	Shut up you crazy motherfucker!
Ching ching	penis
ketsunoana	Asshole
Pai pai	Breasts, nipples
onara	Fart
kin tama	Golden Balls
kisama	Lord of the donkeys (literal translation "fuck you")
Anata wa dame des	You are a nasty person
manko	Pussy
Fuzakeruna	Shut up (bad meaning)
Baita	Prostitute / Easy to Betray
Mukatsuku	You drive me crazy! (bad meaning)
Yaru	Have sex

french swear words

merde	shit
manges la merde	eat shit
tu me fais chier	you're pissing me off
vas faire foutre a la cache	go fuck a cow
encule	fuck you
salope, ordure, conasse, poofias	bitch
va te faire voir	go to hell
vas te faire foutre	go get fucked
vas te faire encule	fuck you
fils de pute	son of a bitch
tu m'emmerdes!	Fuck yourself!
le con, la conasse, la chatte	Cunt
baiser	To fuck
ce sont des conneries	That's a load of shit
leche moi et saire me renier	lick me and make me cum
putain, pute	whore
cul	ass
bite	cock
paure con	asshole
c'est rien que de la merde	Its just a bunch of shit
maudite vache	asshole / bitch
va chier	Go shit
tu mangeras le tas	You can eat the pile

german swear words

Blodes Arschloch	stupid asshole
Dummes Huhn	stupid chicken
Scheisse	shit
Fotze	cunt
Blode Fotze	stupid cunt
Mutterficker	motherfucker
Hurensohn	son of a bitch
hure	whore
Depp	idiot
Drecksau	dirty pig
Arschgesicht	Assface
Fick dich!	Fuck You
Fick mich	Fuck me
Schlampe	Tramp or Slut
das geht dich einen feuchten Scheissdreck an	None of your fucking business
Auf Wiedersehen Fickakopf	Goodbye fuckhead
Leck mich am Arsch	Lick my ass
mach es dir selber	Go fuck yourself
scheissekopf	shithead
Lichten mein asch.	kiss my ass

Professionals test

This quiz consists of four questions that tells you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWERS. There is no need to cheat. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the door.
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out of the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your foresight.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator! This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking. OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a professional.

4. There is a river that is known to have many crocodiles in it. How do you cross it?

Correct Answer: Simply swim across it. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting!

That completes the test!

This question tests your reasoning ability. So...

• If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you're a true professional. Wealth awaits you.

• If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do but there's hope for you.

• If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint.

• If you answered one out of four, try selling your organs. It's the only way you will ever make any money.

• If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not require any higher mental functions at all, such as management, politics, law or medicine.

employee handbook

DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week!

THE MANAGEMENT

A dog named sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."

---

Men are like......

Men are like......

.....placemats
they only show up when there's food on the table.

.....mascara
they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

.....bike helmets
they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

.....government bonds
they take so long to mature.

.....copiers
you need them in reproduction but that's about it.

.....lava lamps
fun to look at it but not all that bright.

.....bank accounts
without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

.....high heels
they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

.....curling irons
they're always hot and always in your hair.

.....mini skirts
if your not careful they'll creep up your legs.

.....handguns
keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

Top 10 rejection lines

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women (and what they actually mean)
10.	I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9.	There’s a slight difference in our ages. (I don’t want to do my dad.)
8.	I’m not attracted to you in "that" way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.)
7.	My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing.)
6.	I’ve got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half-gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.)
5.	I don’t date men where I work. (I wouldn’t date you if you were in the same "solar system," much less the same building.)
4.	It’s not you, it’s me. (It’s you.)
3.	I’m concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2.	I’m celibate. (I’ve sworn off only the men like you.)
1.	Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It’s the male perspective thing.)
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Men (and what they actually mean)
10.	I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly.)
9.	There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly.)
8.	I’m not attracted to you in "that" way. (You’re ugly.)
7.	My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly.)
6.	I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly.)
5.	I don’t date women where I work. (You’re ugly.)
4.	It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly.)
3.	I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly.)
2.	I’m celibate. (You’re ugly.)
1.	Let’s be friends. (You’re sinfully ugly.)

---

Copyright © Larry Elder & Associates - All rights reserved.

How to be a good wife ?

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize - and decode - these KEY "SIGNS." Figuring out these moronic little indicators can save you a lot of time and effort.

1. Woman won't unlock car door for man - Doesn't engage in oral sex
2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - No foreplay
3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - Prefers virgins
4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - Is a virgin
5. Can't hail a cab - Impotent
6. Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote
7. Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan
8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho
9. Wants to go to a French restaurant - Will swallow
10. Wants to go to a deli - Won't swallow
11. Takes too long deciding what to order - Has trouble reaching orgasm
12. Orders salad dressing on the side - Will give you a hand job, but will not go "all the way"
13. Gives explicit orders to waiter - Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed
14. Asks for extra rolls - Will say she is using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue
15. Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will have..." - Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't
16. Asks for "The Usual" - Insists on missionary position only
17. Asks what the specials are - Will want you to use handcuffs
18. Fills up on bread and crackers - Premature ejaculation
19. Doesn't finish everything on plate - Has already come
20. Insists on having some of whatever you ordered - Will make you sleep on the wet spot
21. Changes mind after ordering - Will never call you
22. Changes tables - Nymphomaniac
23. Drinks Decaffeinated. - Fakes Orgasm (Female)
24. Orders in French - Fakes Orgasm (Male)
25. Sends food back - Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money
26. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts - Needs you to talk dirty during sex
27. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers - Wants a handjob
28. Orders a dessert involving nuts - Castrating Bitch
29. Wants to split dessert - Is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all your closets, and take down all your baseball posters
30. Credit card is refused - Low sperm count
31. Under tips waiter - Small penis
32. Under tips parking valet - Small penis
33. Under tips cabby - Small penis
34. Uses toothpick - Is trying to tell you size isn't everything
35. Removable cassette player in car - Pulls out repeatedly during sex
36. Cellular phone in car - Penile implant

Dating Reality Check

Ever wonder what your partner is really saying? Here is what they say, and what it really means...
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_84.htm



Did you come? = Because I didn't.
I have something to tell you. = Get tested.
I'm a Romantic. = I'm poor.
I'll give you a call. = I'd rather have my nipples eaten off by wild dogs than see you again.
I never meant to hurt you. = I thought you weren't a virgin.
Trust me. = I'm cheating on you.
I love you. = You're a good lay.
I think we should just be friends. = You're ugly.
Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass.
I want to make love to you. = Let's fuck.
Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood.
We need to talk. = I'm pregnant.
I had a wonderful time last night. = Who the hell are you?
I've been thinking a lot. = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.
I've learned a lot from you. = Next!
I want a commitment. = I'm sick of masturbation.
I think we should see other people. = I have been seeing other people.
Let's get married. = Now can we fuck?
We don't have to do anything until you are ready. = Put out or get out.
I feel it's time to express our love for each other. = Give me head.
I still think about you. = I miss the sex.
Is there something wrong? = Is it supposed to be this soft?
You're so mature. = I hope you're eighteen.
It's never been like this before. = It's my first time.
Yes...Yes...*scream!* = Aren't you done yet?

Pick Up lines

These pick up lines are so nasty, they're insults

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I like every bone in your body especially mine.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?
Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
If you were a car door I would slam you all night longBaby, your so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out
Baby, I'd run a mile for your vertical smile. Nice shirt.... wanna fuck?
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Can I have fries with that shake!
I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.
You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.
Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.
Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.
My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!
I'd look good on you.
When does your centerfold come out.
So do ya wanna see something really swell?
I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
You have nice legs. What time do they open?
Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?
Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!
Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.
You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!
Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.
If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?

"Why Aren't You Married Yet?"

You haven't asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
Because I just love hearing this question.
Just lucky, I guess.
It gives my mother something to live for.
My fiancée is awaiting his/her parole.
I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren't you thin?
I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

MEN'S GUIDE TO SELECTING THEIR CLOTHES
We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys will pretty much wear anything, anytime, with anything. This creates the false impression that guys just "throw" any old thing on. This however is not the case. As this handy little guide points out, getting dressed is a highly complex and organized ritual for men.

what do credit analyst do ??

Credit Analyst - Bank (Singapore)
Requirements:
Degree in Banking/Finance or equivalent
In-depth knowledge of commercial law, industry, political and economic environments in the markets that the bank is operating
Minimum of 3 years experience in corporate banking/offshore environment with significant experience in credit assessment role
Strong and proven credit assessment skills
Experience in credit risk modeling
Knowledge of credit documentation
Knowledge of debt recovery matters will be an added advantage

From i village website >>>

Here, the 32 emotional signs that he is having an affair:

1. Your mate is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.

2. Your mate begins buying you gifts -- lots of gifts. These are "Guilt Gifts" purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better.

3. Your mate's behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.

4. Your mate frequently picks fights with you. Doing this gives him reason to get mad and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. A cheater may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.

5. Your mate constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue. She says things like, "What would you do if our relationship ended?" or "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend." In general, she seems very negative about your relationship. Your mate makes these statements because she has a lover to fall back on if your relationship ends. If your partner repeats these kinds of statements often, be suspicious.

6. Your mate becomes very moody. He or she seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you. If your mate is in a long-term affair, he/she will try to keep both relationships running smoothly. Any problems the cheater has in one relationship will spill over into the other relationship as well. This is inevitable.

7. Your mate never talks to you. You live together but don't interact. He has become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings.

8. Your mate's taste in music suddenly changes. For instance, she always listened to pop music but suddenly starts listening to country music. Your partner might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because her lover listens to it.

9. Your mate lacks self-esteem. This doesn't necessarily mean he will go out and have an affair, but an insecure individual often looks to others for guidance. If an insecure person's needs aren't being met, he might find the desired feelings of security and positive feedback in an affair with someone else.

10. Your mate continually criticizes another person. She is trying to make you think that type of individual would never be of interest to her, although there actually exists a secret attraction.

11. Your mate criticizes things about you that he or she once found attractive and appealing.

12. Your mate easily becomes offended at the comments, however harmless, that you make.

13. Your mate stops paying attention to you, your children and home-life in general.
14. Your mate begins closing doors when you are around, when before he or she would leave them open. For instance, the Bathroom-Door Rule: Couples in long-term relationships often leave their bathroom doors open while attending to necessities even if their partners are nearby. As affairs develop, the cheating mates will close bathroom doors, distancing themselves physically and psychologically from their partners.
15. Your mate stops complimenting you on your looks.
16. Your mate stops saying, "I love you."
17. You mate acts guilty when you do something nice for him or her. You are supposed to be the person who is making life miserable and the relationship untenable. By doing something nice, you force the cheater to think about what he or she is doing.
18. Your mate turns the table and accuses you of cheating but has no evidence.
19. Your mate would rather spend time with friends than be with you.
20. Your mate shows no interest in your relationship's future.
21. Your mate stops being affectionate.
22. Your mate is more interested in reading a book or watching television than talking with you or making love to you.
23. Your mate frequently talks about the problems a friend, neighbor, co-worker, course instructor or classmate of the opposite sex is having.
24. Your mate begins using new catch phrases or starts to tell types of jokes or express opinions that are unusual for him or her.
25. Your mate pays less and less attention to your children. They seem to sense something is wrong and don't seem to be as emotionally healthy or secure as they once were.
26. Your mate has been acting emotionally distant and withdrawn but when you ask about it, he doesn't want to discuss it and becomes very protective of his privacy.
27. Your mate seems disinterested and distracted during sex.
28. Your mate talks in her sleep and mentions the name of a particular person on more than one occasion.
29. Your mate seems startled or confused when awakened. This uncertainty may be caused by not being sure which bedroom and which lover's bed he or she is in.
30. Your mate's behavior is such that your friends begin asking you what's wrong. Close friends and family members often will notice tension or discord between the two of you before you are fully aware of it.
31. Your mate easily becomes offended when you make normal and natural inquiries and may demand to know why you are checking up on him or her.
32. Your mate's sleeping pattern changes considerably from the norm and may include unexplainable exhaustion, restlessness, frequent nightmares and sleep-talking.

denan my love

i met this guy called Denan, he is so charming and cute
he is an economics grad working in an IT company.
my frens are so happy for me , even ask me to bring him for our Batam trip in Jan 2006
now my Denan is in KL, for business trip .
DENAN , I MISS YOU !
lots