Tell Tale Signs of the Habitual Backseat Banger

I never read blogs but this particula blog caught my attention.


http://single-in-dubai.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html


With the festive season of Eid and Diwali underway here, celebrations are rocking the city...and soon tinted cars will be rocking too, swaying to the rhythm of the mood.

While on the topic of tinted cars, it would be blasphemous to our blog if we didn't refer to the distinguished Dubai male species. Tinted cars are the perfect place for the legendary back seat screw. We all know what goes on in deserted parking lots and beaches, in SUVs that are parked mysteriously still with engines running – so there's no need to state the obvious.

While we recognize the obstacles that willing sexual partners face when wanting to do the deed, we also don't approve of constant backseat banging. There are plenty of hotels available in and around Dubai - it's nice to feel soft sheets or a pillow under your bum instead of the hand brake or gear stick jabbing into you!

Because we think it's high time Dubai's lovely ladies put a stop to this second class treatment, we're going a step further to help you point out if your fine Dubai specimen is a habitual back seat banger!

WARNING SIGNS THAT YOUR MAN IS A HABITUAL BACK SEAT BANGER:

1. Damp and musky air. Sniff! Sniff! Sniff! If the sudden sickly stench of sweat and semen make your nostrils flare, you know that your man has being doing the deed in his backseat. This is a particular favourite with national men and women. It seems as though doing it in the backseat seems to be as much of a fetish as doing it in the back? We assume it must be something about derrieres...

2. Locate the tissue box. If it's crumpled and squashed and looks as if it's been rolled over and shoved in the back somewhere – it's a no brainer!

3. Rifle through the glove box, the arm rest box and the seat divider compartment in the back. These are obvious yet favourite places for storing condoms and other sexual paraphernalia.

4. Miscellaneous pieces of jewellery on the car floor. Bits and bobs from an earring screw, a shiny displaced stone or a hair clip – these are NOT his mother's or sisters' misplaced accessories. Jewelry ends up on the floor when making out and romping in dark, confined spaces!!!

5. Less than 5 minutes into making out, he gets on top of you on the passenger side and pulls the seat lever - immediately sending both of you halfway into the backseat. Please don't believe it's for your comfort – this is the force of habit talking.

6. Suspicious hand and foot prints on either windscreens and windows of the car. If you have a footprint on the internal side of the car glass- it is because the glass just provides support for ongoing activities.

7. He knows all the deserted parking lots, isolated stretches of desert land and untamed beaches in and around Dubai. Then he claims he knows them because he likes "camping" with friends.


So there you have it ladies - you have been warned!


In this fine city cars work as mobile sex pads serving the carnal desires of all the city's residents. Just remember to inhale deeply and sniff next time you get into one!