Sorry girls but it had to happen at some point, Football is about to invade our lives for the whole of this month! I know that some of you like to watch the sport, but I am pretty sure most of you can't wait for it to be over with. So I have decided to give you a few tips on how to survive World Cup 2006.
Basic Knowledge:
- You must show support for the team in red. Unless they have a player called Raul upfront, apparently he plays for Spain!
- Each half lasts 45mins, and you get 15mins in between to try and talk to your other half.
- Don't worry about the off-side rule, it's too hard to explain and it makes men feel clever if they know it and you don't.
- The game may go to extra time if the score is level at the end of 90mins. The teams will play for another 30mins, after which, if still level, will go to penalties. England don't have a good penalty record in big tournaments.
That's the very basic knowledge you need to know. And here are five things to say and not to say whilst watching a game with your man:
5 THINGS TO SAY:
- If England aren't playing very well - "COME ON ENGLAND!, remember '66"
- If an England player falls down near the opposing goal and the referee doesn't blow his whistle and point to a white spot infront of the goal - "Are you blind ref !?!"
- When England score - simply jump up and down screaming. Stop when everyone else does!
- If England loose - "I don't believe it, we woz robbed", then comfort your man
- If England are knocked out by penalties in the semi-final against Germany - just walk away, no amount of comforting talk or hugs will bring your man out of a deep depression for the next month or so.
5 THINGS NOT TO SAY:
- If Beckham comes up on the screen - "Corr, he's gorgeous, I wouldn't mind seeing his golden balls!"
- When you're only 10mins into the game - "When's half-time?"
- When England have just scored - "Have we won, can we go shopping now?"
- If your man asks you to fetch him a larger from the fridge so he doesn't miss the game - "What lager? We've ran out"
- If England loose - "Good, that's over and done with then, can we watch Desperate Housewives now?"
If you stick to Clarissa's 10 simple rules above you , you should survive this month. If you ever feel that you can't manage, I suggest you go shopping with some friends.
Good luck, and remember, keep on shouting "COME ON ENGLAND!"
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1 comment:
Hi, I like your blog. Good luck and take care. Futbol is interesting to me because we don't see it on television all the time.
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